Reflections From The Finals – 2010

• dEDGE Post Scriptum •

This is the one. Handicapped parking signs for Paul Pierce. Artest with the MMA takedown. Pierce running away like a little biyaaatch. What do all of these fouls accomplish? Artest pays $18k for courtside seats, then gives then away to a pair of fans. Jerry West, looking extremely nervous as usual while watching the game. Gasoftnomore. Sheed, a time-bomb ticking down to a technical. Where’s Lamar? KG looking pathetic on the tip-in attempt. Glen Davis almost gets knocked out again. Chris Rock talking to Kobe’s hand. A beat-down on the boards, in the paint and off second chance points. Free tacos. 47-0. Laker Girls.

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All together now. Foul trouble for everyone tonight. Drew and Pau swatting away shots like flies. Jesus has cometh. Rondo with the windshield wiper move, Bynum as the bug on the glass. Glen Davis; rebound, miss, rebound, swatted, rebound, swatted again. Eight 3-pointers and a new NBA Finals record. Where’s Lamar? Too much reality, not enough passion. Beat by the Big 3 + 1 consisting of Allen, Rondo, Perkins + Davis. No rebounds, no rings. Jon Barry is a chip off the old block, he’s an ass just like his old man. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Bill Walton honoring John Wooden was more important than the game itself. “Winning takes talent, to repeat takes character.”

Spero Dedes, here today, gone to the NFL, back again today. Bob Cousy, John Havlicek, Casey Jones. Ray Allen gets hit by a truck with the license plate that reads Artest. Hello LO! Nice bank shot. Kobe with the steal and the save, Bynum with the lay-in + one. Kobe pumping his fist. Where’s Paul Pierce? Oh, he’s over there sitting on the bench. Nice stat line for Jesus, 0-13. Oh no, he’s limping again… Artest in his Rock Star pose. Instant replay without coaches throwing out the hankies. Fisher driving around Rondo. Fisher with the pull-up. Fisher drains the bank shot. D-Fish clobbered by three Celtics on the drive, but not before making the layup and one. “Nothing means more to me than helping my team win.” Celtics co-owner confronting David Stern brings back memories of classy Red Auerbach chasing Earl Strom in 1987.

Was it just me or was Anita Baker lit?

Big Baby needs a big bib…

The Shrek and Donkey Show…

Was it just me or was Anita Baker lit? The refs will not be a factor… will not be a factor… will not be a factor. Sorry Sheed, the refs missed that one. Can someone stuff a towel down Nate’s big mouth? Kobe, showing Ray Allen how it’s done from long-range. Glen Davis getting into Lamar’s face. Bynum limps to the locker room and doesn’t make it back after halftime. Laker fans poised for the team to go on a run. Still waiting after three periods… Davis, Robinson, Tony Allen and Sheed outplaying the Laker starters in the 4th. KG subbing in, then not, then again, then not again. Big Baby needs a big bib. Ouch, that last turnover hurt. We didn’t lose, we gave it to them. The Shrek and Donkey Show. Bynum, a question mark for Game 5. Lamar Odom, a question mark the entire series.

Kobe’s mom sitting directly behind the Boston bench. Purple and gold representation in the stands. Bynum giving it a go, but limping along. Phil answers Doris Burke’s questions unlike Craig Sager. Why is Pau starting out on the perimeter? Kendrick Perkins looks like Bubba from Forest Gump. I H8 N8. Artest with the hard foul on KG. Rondo with the finger push that sends Ron-Ron flying. Kobe playing 1-on-5 all game long. There’s no Kobe-stopper in this one. Missed free throws. Missed opportunities. More missed free throws. I repeat, the ball did not hit the rim. Pierce with the Tom Brady pass. Rondo with the “see-ya” reverse for the win. Heads down, asses up because this one stank. Backs against the wall. Do-or-die. Back to LA for two straight.

Christina Aguilera’s got pipes. Perkins goes down for the count. Jordan with the head-first dive and tap to Kobe. The Machine is back. Farmar stares down KG after the facial dunk. Spike Lee enjoyed that one so much, he’s dancing. Shannon Brown elevating to another level on the throw down. Out of the timeout, into outer space with the alley-oop slam. “What can Brown do for you?” The First Lady is in the house, or so we hear. I bet there’s a sniper in the rafters with his crosshairs focused on Vic the Brick. Rondo running into Artest’s elbow. Bench Mob, 24-0 through three. Jack signaling the choke sign to the Boston bench. See you Thursday.

The Road to the Rafters. It’s all or nothing, baby. There’s no tomorrow. It’s for all the marbles. Leave it all out on the court. It’s now or never. Christina Aguilera, our new good luck charm, and hotter. The refs are letting them play and this favors the Celtics. The Lakers are lacking any championship poise. Artest is carrying the Lakers offense and defense. Missed free throws… Rebounds are keeping us in the game. D-Fish to the rescue again. The Lakers finally take the lead on Kobe’s free throws. Boston is gagging on their own fist. Pau with the double-pump bucket. Artest with the game sealer three. Jubilation. Celebration. Redemption. This one is better than all the rest. “The Black Mamba passed me the ball, he never passes me the ball. He passed me the ball…” A ring for Ron-Ron and another for Queensbridge.

Will Ferrell. Charlize Theron. Adam Sandler. Chris Rock. David Spade. Steven Spielberg. Kourtney Kardashian. Snoop. David Duchovny. Hilary Swank. Kevin James. Sylvester Stallone. Alison Sweeney. Chris Tucker. Adam Levine. Ice Cube. Mark Cuban. Jason Bateman. Terrell Owens. Stacy Keibler. Kim Kardashian. Rob Lowe. Kevin Connolly. Justin Timberlake. Ray Romano. Chris Bosh. Kevin Love. Kurt Rambis. Rick Fox. Eliza Dushku. Akon. Kenny G. Will.I.Am. Josh Brolin. Diane Lane. Diddy. Tom Arnold. Brendan Fraser. Karissa Shannon. Spike Lee. Michelle Obama. Laura Dern. Ellen Pompeo. Fergie. Timbaland. Usher. Courtney Cox-Arquette. Ryan Seacrest. George Lopez. Jake Gyllenhall. Leonardo DiCaprio. David Arquette. Penny Marshall. Anthony Kiedis. Dustin Hoffman. Andy Garcia. Dyan Cannon. Jack Nicholson.