Second Round Observations

dEDGE Post Scriptum

Before we leave the series with the Houston Rockets behind and move on to the Denver Nuggets, here are some final second round observations.

Ron-Ron’s “Von-hawk,” the result of losing a bet with fellow fro-hawker, Von Wafer. The blood-gushing gash that Shane Battier sustained after a Sasha Vujacic elbow-smack to the head. Jamaal “Silk” Wilkes delivering the honorary game ball… Thinking he should be in the Hall of Fame. No one even mentions Tracy McGrady’s name. I wonder who Rudy Tomjanovich is rooting for… Sasha’s evil Frankenstein twin, Luis Scola. Jay-Z and P-Diddy in the house. Dr. Dre. Flea performing the National Anthem. Steve Erkel. Adam Sandler. Cameron Diaz. Steven Spielberg. Jeremy Piven. Rob Lowe. George Lopez. Mario Lopez. Andy Garcia. Denzel Washington. Pete Carroll. Leonardo DiCaprio. Good ol’ Jack flipping the bird at the referee. Yao Ming makes Pau Gasol look like a puny 7-footer. Phil Jackson punking Craig Sager on his orange bozo suit. At least TNT won’t miss the opening minutes of the game anymore. Yao’s yaowie on his knee. Kobe’s pile-driver on Battier. Aaron Brooks = Chris Rock. D-Fish’s forearm shimmy to Scola. Battier’s “peek-a-boo” defense on Kobe’s eyes. Von Wafer, kicked out of the game by his own coach. Artest snapping in Game 2. Pau going ker-pau on Yao.

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Suspension for Fish and none for Artest. That hilarious, robotic, inflatable Houston Rockets bear. Jordan Farmar’s defensive dive after the loose ball. Artest tossed again. D-Fish twittering. Silence in the Toyota Center. Kobe shaking his head while pronouncing, “You can’t guard me!” Another foot fracture for Yao. A sea of red for Game 4. Clyde “The Glide” Drexler. A 29-point lead… for the Rockets. Aaron Brooks-34 points, Shane Battier-23 points, and their counterparts, Derek Fisher-2 points, Kobe Bryant-15 points. Call the FBI, Bynum is missing, last seen in April! LO saying his butt would’ve helped. Laker flags flying at half mast after the Mother’s Day massacre. The media shredding them. Doubt creeps into the minds of Laker fans. The mass exodus of “fans” jumping off the bandwagon. Sasha, palms up and mouth agape after committing another silly foul. Andrew Bynum’s arrival to the playoffs, 9 games late but just in time. The wave. The “We want Mbenga” chant. Wondering if Doug Collins will make a reference to his experience with Michael Jordan… he does. Killer instinct.

17-1 to start the game. Kobe shaking Pau’s head to see if he was awake. Kobe’s head-butt on Artest. Artest overacting like he was in Dealey Plaza. Denver growing weary waiting for a winner in this series. Doubters and nay sayers all over the media. Phil Jackson’s coaching scrutinized. Win or go home. Early arrival by the fans. Charles Oakley and Carlos Boozer taking in Game 7. Phil Jackson = Colonel Sanders. Crisp, clean Sunday whites on the Lakers. Defensive intensity by Gasol and Bynum. D-Fish returns. Scola’s arms covered in scratches. 51-31, game over by halftime. Kobe headlocks Artest. Bynum, dusting off a pesky Aaron Brooks. Pau’s howl. Jack, whipping the crowd into a frenzy. Kobe’s block on Scola – airmail special. Ron-Ron, the most shots taken by any Rocket in the series, 43-113 from the field, 13-47 from distance. Sasha makes a three, finally. Purple and gold streamers again. PJ-3, Adelman-0. A memorable series but one we would rather forget. And lastly, the one and only Laker Girls.